I Enjoy Being a Girl...

I really do. Today I even went out and had my nails done and shopped by myself at the mall. It was wonderful. I adore all the trappings of the uber feminine kind. Although you might see me out and about wearing less than feminine clothes...baggy jeans, my hair pulled back and a hard ass look on my face, deep inside I am all soft and squishy.

I pine for the wardrobe of the lovely Ms. Elizabeth Swan.



and I will take this opportunity to throw in this picture as just a piece of gratuitous fodder because let's face it the whole pirate fantasy is pretty sexy... and the girl does have a nice neck.



I fantasize about getting to be really *really* good friends with Stevie Nicks just so when she stepped out to make me tea I could dive into her closet...



The other day I described my walk as one of being 3 steps away from running straight into a bar room brawl. Couple that with me all wrapped up in lace, satin and pearls... Err, that's a confusing visual...nevermind.

I present a pedicure to die for. Oh yes, I do enjoy being a girl...

Because This is Who I Am...

It's not all that I am. Today I am a teacher. Today I teach gardening. I teach my babies through play to enjoy all that flowers can be. I teach them each cycle of a flower's life is a beautiful and a purposeful one. I teach them to rejoice in the changes. I teach them to decorate their lives in unconventional ways. I teach them to find joy in the simple and the silly. Today as I teach my children, I also teach myself.















My summer garden in all it's glory...

Michelle and Becky's Most Excellent Adventures...

Click here to watch 'Drawn-to-the-Rhythm-2006'

A Poem for Heather....

I sit in the sand
buried toes
dirty hands
and I think...

and I think and I think and I think...

of a promise I made
to write you a poem
poetically tragic? it could be quite freeing
or an empowering line
about my well being...

so I think and I think and I think...

I think I see a creature
crawling quite near
he'd be wise to stay away from my beer...

So I think and I drink and I think some more...

I can think of no answers
no profound lore
but as I sit in the sand
buried toes, dirty hands,
I think... I am happy.

Green and Grey Were the Colors Today....

green, deep, lush, sensual. I love the Pacific Northwest. The grey heavy clouds pushing down around my shoulders. The rain falling on me in misty sheets.... reminding me that to attain such beauty the rain must fall. You must see it through the mist and the heavy air. Pull my hair back and let it claim me... welcoming the rain for it brings with it such intense beauty.

We were too tired of driving to do photo opportunities...we settled for a room at the Ramada Inn in Longview and Chinese takeout... tomorrow we have a date with a volcano... perhaps hiking? We shall say a prayer for Harry Truman when we pass by Spirit Lake...

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/mountsthelens/hary11.shtml

and a moment of remembrance for Johnston and his last moments on the ridge across from Mount St Helen's the day she blew.


OOOOH! Volcano Cam!!!!

http://www.fs.fed.us/gpnf/volcanocams/msh/

Here is the picture that will represent what we are doing right now.....





until tomorrow....

Beaches, Broken Hearts and Best Friends...

Not necessarily in that order...

One of my best friends, Becky and I have decided that the hard edges of life would be better viewed from the beaches of Washington State this week. We have packed the necessities. Tent, camera, whiskey and a guide on how not to get lost in the woods. We are leaving early in the morning. I am hoping for an epoch journey mirroring the introspection of Stand By Me sans the dead body but certainly I wouldn't turn completely away from a more Thelma and Louise type adventure as long as I don't have to deal with a Brad Pitt character and perhaps an ending with a softer landing...



We have discussed Ruby Beach. I have also thought a hike around Johnston's Ridge at Mt St Helen's might be exciting. Nothing like sleeping in the blast zone of a volcano to make a girl feel alive. The truth is we don't know where we are going. Perhaps our trip is a metaphor. Perhaps its just a trip and we will gain nothing more than sandy toes and dirty hair. But I am looking forward to quiet evenings around a campfire telling our truths and secrets and laughing at each other's bad jokes.

So here is to our week Miss Becky, here is to adventure, here's to us....

When I think of heaven
Deliver me in a black-winged bird
I think of flying down into a sea of pens and feathers
And all other instruments of faith and sex and God
In the belly of a black-winged bird.

Don't try to feed me
I've been here before
And I deserve a little more

I belong in the service of the Queen
I belong anywhere but in between
She's been crying and I've been thinking
And I am the Rain King

And I said mama, mama, mama, why am I so alone
I can't go outside
I'm scared I might not make it home
I'm alive, I'm alive
But I'm sinking in
If there's anyone at home at your place, darling
Why don't you invite me in?

Don't try to bleed me
I've been there before
And I deserve a little more

I belong in the service of the Queen
I belong anywhere but in between
She's been lying and I've been sinking
And I am the Rain King

Hey, I only want the same as anyone
Henderson is waiting for the sun
Oh, it seems night endlessly begins and ends
After all the dreaming I come home again

When I think of heaven
Deliver me in a black-winged bird
I think of dying
Lay me down in a field of flame and heather
Render up my body into the burning heart of God
In the belly of a black-winged bird

Don't try to bleed me
I've been here before
And I deserve a little more

I belong in the service of the queen
I belong anywhere but in between
She's been dying and I've been drinking
And I am the Rain King...

Sawtooth Relay

I am home from my adventure volunteering during the Sawtooth Relay. I came home with a horrible sunburn and a few new friends.

It was an amazing event. 60 miles. Surrounded by incredible beauty I watched as my friends struggled to overcome their personal fears and their bodies own desire to quit. They all crossed the finish line together each carrying their own personal victories. I watched with deep appreciation and a twinge of jealousy.

I came away with several reaffirmed beliefs. 1) Women can be fearless, if I were ever a puppy who fell down a cliff and was inches away from my death I would pray these ladies would happen along to save me. 2) Women are powerful creatures. Some can even fling snakes for hundreds of yards. 3) Late night girlie chats can help fix anything including broken hearts and insomnia.

Thanks team #103 This is for you.

Ready, Set....Volunteer!

What? Me? Run? Surely you jest.....

http://www.sawtoothrelay.com/sawtooth/home.cfm

and so the artist inside takes a big deep breath....

and prepares her work for the show....

So... I Bought a Little Red Dress to Make Me Feel Better

That's all....carry on.

The Star Maiden

As my luck would have it I have been afforded endless amounts of time this weekend for reflection and empty musings. I sat by the pond and watched the water lilies slowly closing as night approached.

My water lilies remind me of the Native American story The Star Maiden.

The story goes like this....At night the star maiden would look down at the beautiful people she would see living in such a beautiful world. She appeared to a young brave in a dream and said,

"I am tired of wandering across the sky...your world calls to me."

When the brave awoke he told the chief and the council of his dream. The chief told the people that a star wanted to live on earth and they rejoiced in her coming. They threw sweet wood on the fire, raised their arms in welcome and danced to celebrate the coming of the star.

In order to live with the people she most loved she was forced to choose a different form for a shining star must remain forever in the heavens. When morning came she slipped into a rose that grew strongly on the hillside and she was certain this would be her new home.

Alas, the next day she realized she was still too far from the village and the people she so loved. So she left the rose and floated down to the tall graceful prairie grass. Flowers of every color grew there and she chose the bluest most beautiful flower certain that this was her new home.

But soon the earth began to shake beneath her as herds of wild buffalo trampled through the prairie. She knew she could never rest there in that beautiful prairie. And that night she rose back up into the dark sky above the heads of the people she loved.

The people were sad. They were afraid they had lost her forever. That the earth she so dearly loved didn't welcome her.

She shone brightly in the sky and drifted slowly over a dark water lake. She hung there entranced at her reflection and with joy she saw the reflection of her sisters shining there as well.

"Sisters! Stop your wandering! Find rest with me in these quiet peaceful waters. Come!"

The people of the village saw the sky tremble with diamond shards of bright light. The dark waters came alive with stars.

In the morning the people gathered at the lake which had been full of stars the night before. They stood in silence at the beauty floating before them. Hundreds of water lilies floating quietly in the sun.

Water lilies are the stars that fell from the sky one night a long, long time ago. When the star maiden was seeking the world she most loved and had beckoned her sisters to follow.

This story never speaks about sacrifice. Although I have always thought it would have been a big one to give up shining brightly against a black velvet curtain...watching over the earth all night as the world rested. I suppose the star maiden knew her heart well enough to understand that leaving her home for the dark waters where she finally saw her reflection was simply the only thing she could do. She knew in her heart where she belonged. She lived true to herself. She was strong. She was brave. Perhaps the real sacrifice would have been if she had never dared to to leave her black velvet curtain.

Roses in the Rain...

I cut roses in the rain tonight,
it seemed where I belonged.
I was called to be a witness,
to know with my eyes, my breath, my body,
the heavens were weeping regardless of
the exquisite beauty that surrounded me.
The perfect irony, elation and despair,
dancing together each demanding center stage.

Rule number one to writing... write something, anything everyday...

"Ha!" I said.

I am not a writer. I mean I would like to be but something about having to find topics of great import seems to be too heavy a burden to me. I might be able to squeak out a personal narrative from time to time but let's face it... I haven't had the most exciting and personal fullfilling life so far. One can only write about life's quiet desperation for so long before people tire and take you off their blogroll.

I mentioned this to my friend Carla as we sat in a bar one night writing stand up for her show. She asked me why I didn't write. I finally confessed my dirty little secret. "I'm just a girl who cannot finish complete sentences." She looked at me squarely in the eye... you know the type... the kind of friend who knows you better than sometimes you would like them to. "Oh! Michelle, so you are a poet!"

"Ha!" I said again.

I say that a lot...perhaps there is a poem in there somewhere...

Formerly Known as June...

It has finally arrived...the day I have longed for in story and song... well okay in story...

http://screamingmommytoy.blogspot.com/2006/04/curse-you-izzy.html

Today marks my freedom from those pesky pieces of material we all call socks. Socks no more! is my war cry of the day. I invite all of you to put away your socks and walk barefoot with me. I urge you to throw away any unmatched socks still hanging around your dryer...but you must do it with a big evil laugh...tilt your head back and rub your stomach as you do it... look around your yard, if the neighbors didn't hear you, do it again.

Run to your driveway and stand...let your feet soak up the sun radiating from the cement. Walk in the grass...tall grass so it is soft and welcoming... go swing and see if your toes can brush the sky like they used to when you were a kid. Paint your toes a brilliant shade of something. Find a friend and play "This little piggy..."

Today is Sock Liberation Day! (formerly known as June 1st) its time to dance barefoot!


If you are still,
You may hear the sound of toes,
giggling in the tall summer grass.