Thursday, December 29, 2005

Tonight I tak a right good willy waught for all those I love...


Should auld acquaintance be forgot

And never brought to mind?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot

And days of auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne.

And surely ye'll be your pint stoop

And surely I'll be mine

And we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet

For auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne.

We twa hae run about the braes

And pou'd the gowans fine

But we've wander'd mony a weary foot

Sin' auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl'd i' the burn

Frae mornin' sun till dine

But seas between us braid hae roared

Sin' auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne.

And here's a hand, my trusty fiere

And gi'e's a hand o' thine

And we'll tak a right good willy waught

For auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne.

I ponder over the last year and 2006 looms large as I toss back just one more whiskey and whatever...

damn it's not exactly as haunting as Edgar Allen Poe is it?

I am thinking of you. Yes, YOU. Stop looking around and wondering how I know you are reading this... I just know.

I want you to know that I love you.

~If you are a stranger to me then know that I look forward to our paths crossing.

~If we have grown into strangers then I send my love and wishes that your world is being good to you. The time you spent in my life had meaning and your foot print has been left on my heart. Know that the road back is never closed and it is always a time for celebration when an old friend returns.

~If you are someone I currently walk beside, THANK YOU! You have brought me much laughter and joy. Your friendship is a gift given to an unworthy recipiant. I am lucky to have you. I will spend the next year making sure you know how much you mean to me.

Life is a wonderous thing. If we are open and trusting and honest with ourselves we can learn the most valuable lessons. Lessons of worth. Of measuring priorities. Of the freedom humility can bring us. Love without expectation of return. Of keeping a kind thought for others. Developing a taste for the humor and humaness in irony. Seeing wrong in others and acknowledging without hesitation that it dwells within us as well. Being grateful for hard lessons learned and the tears we shed unashamedly. It is indeed a wonderful life.

Lang may your lum reek.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Cool web cam of ice skating rink in Utah


Sunday, December 25, 2005

Cartwheels turn to car wheels thru the town...

And they tell him,
Take your time, it won’t be long now
Till you drag your feet to slow the circles down...

My baby got a car from Santa.

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He grinned and asked coyly how I thought Santa managed to get it into his sleigh. For just a split second I saw him. The little him and I wished that circle could reverse. Just for a little bit. Long enough to smell him as baby. To feel him on my lap wiggling around. Struggling on tip toe to reach the front door handle. I am a sappy mother. There are moments when it feels as if God himself reaches down and taps me on the shoulder as if to say,


I had the realization that my first born was still my baby when number 2 was days from birth. (Boy did that one throw me for a loop) Once time stood still as I watched that same baby being swallowed up by a huge middle school building. I cried that morning sitting in the school parking lot. I didn't cry this morning. Perhaps I am evolving. But I am teary as I type this so maybe I am just getting slow in my old age.

And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and dawn
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return we con only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game...

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Merry Christmas to all the parents out there who might have felt that same tap on the shoulder this morning. It will be okay...I think.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Christmas Vacation Trials and Tribulations Log

December 24th---Day Eight---CHRISTMAS EVE!!!

May your day be a blur of giggles and excitement. Of present rattling and cookies! Merry Christmas and God bless us everyone!

December 23rd---Day Seven better known as Christmas Eve Eve

One more picture to emphasize the excitement level in our home...

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I took my younger kids and my girlfriends kids to see the talking Christmas Tree this evening!

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I do it because my mother did....

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Sadly, the weatherman broke the news to me last night that although I am free to dream of a white Christmas I won't be getting one.

Today will be filled with last minute laundry and packing. Cleaning the house enough so that Santa can get into the front door. I have a friend coming over later with her daughters in tow. We shall make Christmas crafts with the kids. Photos to follow I am sure.

December 22nd---Day Six

There is really only one word which can describe what the children are doing in my house this close to Christmas...

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December 21st---Day Five

Speak to me of triumph
speak to me of joy
tell me of your sorrows
of all the plans you will employ

Meet me where I am standing
tis just one step away
standing in tomorrow
not in yesterday.

Its in my heart I’ve kept you
when we both have failed to reach
a neutral place to begin again
our problems to forereach

A simple thing, the hardest thing
to go back to start again
‘tis true measure of integrity
a true measure of a friend.

The precise moment of the 2005 solstice will be December 21, 2005 at 1:35 P.M. EST (18:35 UT).

It's Solstice mom. ...

As a child I had very little insight as to why my mother would
tearfully watch as the days grew shorter each fall As a child I looked
ahead to all things winter with my heart forever in the present. Her
words of excitement when the days started to get longer again I
dismissed as "silly mother stuff'. .

Looking now through the eyes of an adult I realize my mother most
likely suffered from SADD before there was such a thing. She loved
to have her hands in the soil. She was part of every plant she ever
planted. She made roses thrive and iris grow incredibly tall. She was
engaged in a silent dance of celebration with the earth. I have her to
thank for all those summer mornings I awoke to the sound of the
mower and the smell a fresh cut grass. I have her to thank for my
love of gardening and my craving for the smell of warm peat moss. I
have her to thank for the desire to dance a silent dance.

My mother was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer in the spring of
'94. The first words out of her mouth were "I want to live to see
another spring". The Dr. kindly touched her shoulder and gave her
one more spring. I know that he didn't mean it. But he'll never
know the joy that brought to my mom. The joy of one more spring.
The joy of one more dance. And dance she did.

She bought me several flats of petunias that year and sat in a chair
and watched as I planted them. And we talked of the spring, of life,
of beauty. As summer waned she began to lose strength. Almost as
if her body was solar powered. Again she looked to Solstice and
called me that day to proclaim the return of daylight. Each day my
mother inched her way toward her spring defying Dr.s expectations
of her. We had another lovely spring and summer. Although the sun didn't seem to energize her body like it did before I could tell her soul still danced in the sunlight.

I lost her that year but only after the days started getting shorter. Her least favorite time of year. I fell into despair and darkness. Darkness of my soul and darkness of the season. Although I didn't realize it at the time I began yearning for the daylight. For warmth and renewal. For the dance. When the calendar revealed its darkest day my heart leaped with joy. The sun was returning! Life was returning! It was then I realized my mother had left behind as a gift to me her love of the sun and the steps to the dance.

I woke up this morning with a lighter heart and a secret excitement. I peeked outside at my sleeping garden. It would soon know what I knew. In quiet reflection I heard myself proclaim, "The sun is coming! It's Solstice again is time to dance"

A Blessing Spell for Winter Solstice

We ask a blessing on this house,
This happy Eve of Solstice time.
We sing and dance and make carouse
To celebrate deep Winter's clime.

For Herne is here, and Mistletoe.
The Holly and its berries bloom.
We dance a carol, round we go
The Ivy winds about the room.

With wine and cake we make a toast,
And bring a blessing to our host.
— Source: “Encyclopedia of White Magic, A Seasonal Guide,” Paddy Slade, 1990, p. 56.

Solstice Eve Chant

The geese fly high this Solstice morn,
The woods are bare, the snow is deep.
We wait for Herne to sound His horn
To wake His children up from sleep
To celebrate this happy night,
When Winter may be put to flight.
— Source: “Encyclopedia of White Magic, A Seasonal Guide,” Paddy Slade, 1990, p. 56.

Winiter Solstice Chant

Geese and standing stones and mist,
Baying hounds and hooting owl,
Sparkling stars, and snow is crisp
Herne is here. Bring forth the Bowl.
— Source: “Encyclopedia of White Magic, A Seasonal Guide,” Paddy Slade, 1990, p. 56.

December 20th---Day Four

I SWEAR on all that is holy the box said "Dark Copper" NOT Ronald McDonald!
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December 19th---Day Three

Ghosts of Snowfalls Passed...
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At long last...SNOW!!! My children are watching with great anticipation for the snow hill to materialize. We will need a few more storms before that will happen. Even with the hay bales as a base its gonna take alot of snow.

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December 18th---Day Two

Did you know that Confetti Ice Cream cups can mold?

December 17th---Day One

I got the cleaning bug... it doesn't happen very often so I seized the moment or rather Carpe Devacuum. I thought that using a carpet deodorizer would be just the thing. Joyfully, in anticipation of a scented home I sprinkle large amounts on the family room carpet and wait the appropriate amount of time before I begin the vacuum. I click the "On" switch and realize that the sound isn't right and after checking realize that it has no suction. That *does* suck. I went to investigate and soon after my baby runs out to me all excited and exclaims that it had snowed in the living room and she had made a snow angel! Ugh, well at least she smells like French Vanilla.

Day of Vacation---December 16th

It didn't take long for the fun to start! Dd comes home from school with a bouquet of red roses and candy from a....from a.....lordy I can't even SAY it.... FROM A B-O-Y! She's 13 for cryin' out loud. I am thinking of putting a lock on her door until after puberty has passed.

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Let the Games Begin!!!!

Do you hear that? It's the sound of the last few minutes before Christmas vacation begins. Everything in the house is still within my control and I am peaceful. I pray I can keep my sense of humor keen and my desire to curl up on the couch and rock back and forth to a minimum. They are all good kids. Very good, very loud, very stubborn kids. I have no idea where they got it from...

five, four, three, two.....

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Monday, December 12, 2005

Nutcracker on Ice

The entire team made it without as much as a bottom hitting the ground! My daughter woke up the next morning and said "If I had one wish it would be to start yesterday all over again..." Indeed! I guess that means more skating lessons. Look at those smiling faces!
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Friday, December 09, 2005


Until 1999 "in real life" had a totally different meaning to me. When I finally got a computer and joined the world wide web the definition slowly changed. IRL began to mean "in person" and a new abbreviation emerged. ONL or ONF. Online friends.

As a housewife who didn't socialize much I found myself spending more and more time online making conversation with usernames on various parenting sites. I witnessed a wide array of sentiments about exactly how "real" ONF's were. We all read stories of horrible things happening to people when they get involved IRL with ONF. Rapes, murders and spousal shenanigans. Frankly, the only thing I have ever witnessed was people taking advantage of others generosity and misrepresentation of one's life situations. Well that and the realization that people are less likely to maintain the modicum of decorum we generally give to those human beings standing right in front of us. When people are not held accountable for their nasty mouths and behaviors they tend to let their worst side show without much thought about it. The old argument that ONF are not "real" rears its ugly head usually used as some sort of weird validation. But I do digress. Sometimes despite of all the potential land mines, people find each other.

I have after several years of intense ONF socializing decided that for me at least, there is no difference in IRL and ONF. I have taken the leap into believing that the people in my internet social circle are REALLY real. (I am sure they are relieved to hear this) I have been subjected to the same types of broken hearts and warm fuzzies that I have experienced BI (before internet). I have learned so much about my world. I have seen myself in so many other mothers. I have gained reassurances that I am not alone. I faced PPD with the support of many BTDT's and ATDT's. I learned that I am a REP. Whoda thunk? I found out I had a sense of humor. Of course, being REP it's always a good idea to have a SoH. I learned that not everybody likes me. (unthinkable I know) I have learned sometimes people whom you love are not always the people you like. I have learned that forgiveness in the world is lacking but not absent. Most profoundly, I have learned that I have made some wonderful friends.

It is to these ONF's who are in all sense of the word IRL I would like to send my love. Merry Christmas and thank you for making your presence felt in my life over the last year. I look forward to the coming year. May you always remember how much I love you.


Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

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Yikes!   Where has the snow gone?   I have never really like the cold but firmly believe that if it *has* to be cold then it should snow...ALOT!       Brown Christmas's and seeing my garden dead and in need of attention just hacks me off.   I'm dreaming of a white Christmas!  Please Santa?

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Smurking Snowman

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December came today with a 6 inch snowfall and shouts of joy from my baby who insisted today was the beginning of snowman building season.    I also started the snow hill which with a little help from a friend who is doing snow dances and mother nature I will create a sledding hill in my front yard.  Happy December!

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