Roses Fade

A lifetime of winters,
plotting the path of the sun.
futile some say,
for roses fade so fast.

With faith and my fingertips,
I tend cold sleeping soil.
futile some say,
for roses fade so fast.

Rejoicing at first bloom,
sprinkling ladybugs and wishes.
futile some say,
for roses fade so fast.

Bloodied hands,
they bite and scratch me.
futile some say,
for roses fade so fast.

I bleed, I tend, I believe,
to spend one splended moment,
close to God's perfect beauty.
not futile! that roses fade so fast.

~m~

Time Flies and Then You're 5

Old Entry, Continued Sentiment...

written originally 2/12/06

I have reached my physical limit of irritation with people who drone on and on about the need to "protect" marriage. Seriously, it makes it sound as if they are members to some posh golfing club. God forbid we allow others the same joys of marriage that I have. Let's see recent joys I can remember... being bored to tears at routine, cooking dinner for the one millionth time, the same old reactions to the same old problems. Yes lets "save" this for the right people shall we?

Or perhaps it's that we don't want to give others the same feeling of the stability or the "foreverness" or comfort that marriage can bring. If this is the case, then shame on us all. We are infinite beings of a vastly loving God. We all yearn for a taste of eternity which through commitment from another person can give us. I can't imagine denying this to someone because they don't love the "right" person. Again I say SHAME ON US.

I envision my creator, after he is done with this grand experiment lining us all up in a row. Black, White, Muslim, Christian, Athetist, Gay, Straight.... and laughing at us (in pity not in joy) for our embarrassing ineptitude at understanding exactly what part of love really needed our protection.

Election Night Wine Review

...because they won't let you drink in the restaurants.





Actually it was opened last night. It was a bit too heavy. Oak and bitter raspberries. Perfect for perhaps wheat thins and hummus or a good havarti but not particularly good with Ministrone which is itself a heavy meal.

After leaving it open all night long on the counter I decided to give it another shot. The oak taste has mellowed and I detect a hint of vanilla scented dryer sheets (it was laundry day) and hamburger helper... not bad... not good...but not bad when its election night and you can't get a drink in the restaurants.

Sixth Sense Syrah
dead people not included

http://www.sltrib.com/business/ci_4565375

Go Vote

please?

Dryer Sheets

Why don't they make dryer sheets infused with our favorite perfumes?

Boy is it Fall!!!

I Am Going to Build a Photo Studio in my Garage...

I can hear it now. Relieved sighs let out all over the blogisphere. Concern masses are picking up the phone right now, texting or pulling out their trusty carrier pigeon...

"By god Madge! Did you see Michelle's blog? She is pulling herself up by her own boot straps! I think she might break out in a round of "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow", I tell ya! She is moving forward... she, she, she is going to build her photo studio in her garage! She has gotten through "the hard times""

Well I say, "NOT SO FAST!!!!!"

I would like to say I am great. I would like to say I have found my pace. While I would like say the motivation is my own way of acting out Mary Tyler Moore's scene of throwing her knit cap up in the air out of joy of who she is, I can't. I'm still stuck in the pain of transition. There is another reason I am turning my garage into a photo studio. Less freeing, more due to practicalities. The truth is.... my car doesn't fit into my new garage. I was busy looking at closet space and intact roofing and completely forgot to pull the car into the garage to see if it would fit. I mean whodathunk? Its a relatively new house. I am sure Cory Barton knows Suburbans exist. Why didnt he give the garage just one more foot of parking space for my environmental disaster car? humph.

If I become a successful photographer do I owe it to the SUV? my inventive nature to "make something" out of otherwise wasted space? or perhaps shhhhhhh talent? I dunno. But I have heard that everything happens for a reason. And you know what they say, "Some are born with photo studios and others have photo studios thrust upon them.".

say CHEESE!

Changes...

I've been gone for a while. Life has been changing all around me. I have been changing all around life. I moved a couple weeks ago. Away from my beautiful home and a woefully unattended garden. Away from familiar sounds and long time routines.

For those whom I haven't spoken much to since the dissolution of our common Internet home, my marriage is over and my divorce is coming perhaps by the end of the year. Reasons? Yes there are many.

My husband and I have chosen to stay good friends and parent closely together because truly no matter what happens in the privacy of adults lives its the children who continue to need positive role models and security. I had always hoped to model a successful wife role for them but now that I won't be one I can only hope I (we) can model a successful divorce which demonstrates how people can still treat each other with love and respect even if the happily ever after didn't work. To speak kindly to each other and to still parent with one heart and mind. My husband is a kind and gentle man. I have great hopes of our family's future even though its now broken from the traditional.

Wish me luck as I begin my new life full of unfamiliar sounds and new routines. Wish my children an easy transition. I hear the sun comes up every day regardless of the drama we create in life. I find this equally comforting and very, very scary.

Shhhhhhh! I am trying to watch a movie!

Idaho Film Festival.....

see you Monday!

where's my popcorn?



http://www.idahofilmfestival.com/2006festival/index.htm

Willful and Purposeful Neglect

I am guilty. I confess!

I recently set up my email to automatically spell check any outgoing mail. I thought that it would make me sound and look a bunch smarter if my communications were impeccable. Granted, I will use it if I am talking to a future employer or the POTUS but in all honesty, it runs through each of my "chattin' up a friend" emails and I hit ignore. I *like* using lower case "i" when speaking about myself and it saves time to leave out the ' in typing contractions. I try very hard to remember to stop long enough to capitalize the beginning of my sentences even though it adds a key stroke I would rather not make. I realize I am quirky though, I think nothing of ending each rambling thought with "..." yet that adds two extra key strokes. Perhaps I need to rethink this and stop using periods altogether i am a busy woman after all...

Timeline...

0 to 20 ~ Exhumation

21 to 200 ~ Grave Robbing

201 to Ten Billion Freakin Whatever ~ Archeology

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060920/sc_nm/ethiopia_fossil_dc

It's That Time of Year Again!

I love independent film! Don't you? Check it out, buy your tickets and I will meet you afterward for a beer!

http://www.idahofilmfestival.com/

The Legend of Screaming Mommy Toy

More times than I can count people have asked me how on earth I came up with the name of the blog. And so today I will tell the story...

Two years ago, right around Halloween time my then 2 year old wanted to get a hamburger from Sonic. As all places do, they put a toy in her meal. Being Halloween it was a small barbie-like doll in a long spooky dress looking sorta like Morticia Adams on acid. She pulled it out of the bag on the way home and started playing with it. Then she squeezed the doll's stomach... suddenly (well suddenly for a 2 year old) the dolls eyes light up red and it lets out this horribly loud scream which was then followed by an equal if not louder scream of sheer terror from my baby girl and the doll was thrown across the car. She was so shaken I had to stop the car and hold her for a few minutes before she calmed down enough to be put back in her car seat and taken home.

Fast forward a couple weeks I had been out shopping with the girls and decided to pick up chicken and burgers to take home for lunch. When the baby saw me turn into Sonic she began screaming and crying "NO SCREAMING MOMMY TOY NO NO NO NO!" She cried all the way through the drive thru and wouldn't touch her food until I had inspected the bag for any signs of the offending toy. It took her months to calm down enough that she wouldn't get freaked at the mention of Sonic. Poor thing.

Of course, as all families do, once she regained her sense of humor over it (she's young and resilient) we began making references to silly toys we would see at Halloween and teasing her mercilessly... last year she came running up to me at the store with the doll you see on the front page of my blog and said, "Look! It's the ugliest screaming mommy toy I have ever seen!" squeezed its stomach and laughed hysterically... Totally healed from her early childhood trama.

She giggles everytime she sees my blog. She coyly crawls up into my lap and asks me to tell her the story about her and the screaming mommy toy. Kids love to hear stories about themselves and I have to admit that I love telling her about it and I smile everyday that I see it too.

"Symbolism in Poetry and Personal Translation" or....

"do you wanna play a game"? Perhaps game is too strong a word and will cause people like B.A. to run and hide. What I want you to do is read this poem. Then answer these following questions:

1) If "the woods" is a symbol for something in your life you *want* to do, *what is it?

a. this week it would be...
b. this year it will be...
c. your life it is...

2) If "promises to keep, and miles to go" are symbols for something in your life that is keeping you back from "the woods". What is it/are they?

*if you find them too personal, answer anonymously here otherwise....i look forward to reading your blogs...you.know.who.you.are. If you choose to accept this challenge please feel free to post a link in the comment area here back to your blog/answers. btw, I don't expect everyone to soul search...for instance "anything but laundry" would most likely be 2 out of 3 of my answers here...good luck and have fun! Perhaps it would be fun for you to find a poem you find similarly facinating as I do this one and challenge others yet again???


Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.


My little horse must think it's queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.


He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there's some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep

Robert Frost

Lions And Tigers And Bears......

OH MY!
never let it be said that my children wait until the last minute to decide about Halloween!