IRL
Until 1999 "in real life" had a totally different meaning to me. When I finally got a computer and joined the world wide web the definition slowly changed. IRL began to mean "in person" and a new abbreviation emerged. ONL or ONF. Online friends.
As a housewife who didn't socialize much I found myself spending more and more time online making conversation with usernames on various parenting sites. I witnessed a wide array of sentiments about exactly how "real" ONF's were. We all read stories of horrible things happening to people when they get involved IRL with ONF. Rapes, murders and spousal shenanigans. Frankly, the only thing I have ever witnessed was people taking advantage of others generosity and misrepresentation of one's life situations. Well that and the realization that people are less likely to maintain the modicum of decorum we generally give to those human beings standing right in front of us. When people are not held accountable for their nasty mouths and behaviors they tend to let their worst side show without much thought about it. The old argument that ONF are not "real" rears its ugly head usually used as some sort of weird validation. But I do digress. Sometimes despite of all the potential land mines, people find each other.
I have after several years of intense ONF socializing decided that for me at least, there is no difference in IRL and ONF. I have taken the leap into believing that the people in my internet social circle are REALLY real. (I am sure they are relieved to hear this) I have been subjected to the same types of broken hearts and warm fuzzies that I have experienced BI (before internet). I have learned so much about my world. I have seen myself in so many other mothers. I have gained reassurances that I am not alone. I faced PPD with the support of many BTDT's and ATDT's. I learned that I am a REP. Whoda thunk? I found out I had a sense of humor. Of course, being REP it's always a good idea to have a SoH. I learned that not everybody likes me. (unthinkable I know) I have learned sometimes people whom you love are not always the people you like. I have learned that forgiveness in the world is lacking but not absent. Most profoundly, I have learned that I have made some wonderful friends.
It is to these ONF's who are in all sense of the word IRL I would like to send my love. Merry Christmas and thank you for making your presence felt in my life over the last year. I look forward to the coming year. May you always remember how much I love you.
SWAK
As a housewife who didn't socialize much I found myself spending more and more time online making conversation with usernames on various parenting sites. I witnessed a wide array of sentiments about exactly how "real" ONF's were. We all read stories of horrible things happening to people when they get involved IRL with ONF. Rapes, murders and spousal shenanigans. Frankly, the only thing I have ever witnessed was people taking advantage of others generosity and misrepresentation of one's life situations. Well that and the realization that people are less likely to maintain the modicum of decorum we generally give to those human beings standing right in front of us. When people are not held accountable for their nasty mouths and behaviors they tend to let their worst side show without much thought about it. The old argument that ONF are not "real" rears its ugly head usually used as some sort of weird validation. But I do digress. Sometimes despite of all the potential land mines, people find each other.
I have after several years of intense ONF socializing decided that for me at least, there is no difference in IRL and ONF. I have taken the leap into believing that the people in my internet social circle are REALLY real. (I am sure they are relieved to hear this) I have been subjected to the same types of broken hearts and warm fuzzies that I have experienced BI (before internet). I have learned so much about my world. I have seen myself in so many other mothers. I have gained reassurances that I am not alone. I faced PPD with the support of many BTDT's and ATDT's. I learned that I am a REP. Whoda thunk? I found out I had a sense of humor. Of course, being REP it's always a good idea to have a SoH. I learned that not everybody likes me. (unthinkable I know) I have learned sometimes people whom you love are not always the people you like. I have learned that forgiveness in the world is lacking but not absent. Most profoundly, I have learned that I have made some wonderful friends.
It is to these ONF's who are in all sense of the word IRL I would like to send my love. Merry Christmas and thank you for making your presence felt in my life over the last year. I look forward to the coming year. May you always remember how much I love you.
SWAK
posted by nina michelle at 4:11 PM
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